Ready to Soar
by Bernette Sherman
She sits atop a mountain
The view she holds is grand
The wind refreshing and pure
The rock cool beneath her fingers
She inhales, she exhales
Her breath shallow with the altitude
Her heart pounding like a drum
Potential explodes within her chest
She dreams of flying from this peak
Watching a beautiful world
As she soars as if on eagles’ wings
Still she sits quietly
Like ice warming, melting
The energy slowly flowing
Knowing where she stands
(Included in Heaven is Now: Enough Excuses)
It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. It’s not in itself a bad thing. If you cannot take care of and nuture and tend to your needs when you have them (not just when the timing is perfect), how can you ever know what it feels like to have your needs met by the one person closest to you (you)?
It’s important to know how to fill your cup. And if you don’t know how to take care of yourself so your cup is full, how can you then give to others out of your overflow, your full cup?
When we are selfish, in a healthy self-loving way, we are actually expanding our capacity to be selfless, to care more, to give more, to love more. And we can better do it from a place of fullness rather than need. It them comes from a good heart and with good intentions, puting that energy into motion for you and those who drink from full cup.
For all the women who ever thought themselves unworthy, I share this.
I am a good wife because
I am not a worthy or good wife because I am not the Christian I should be. I don’t follow the biblical example. I don’t give my husband the respect he deserve at all times. I don’t make enough money for him to not feel like he’s got to carry me or that I’m not a financial burden…
And it goes on for a couple more paragraphs. I berate myself as both a woman and a wife. I had not one thing to list under the “I am a good wife because” section, because at the time I really didn’t think there was anything about me that made me a good wife.
I came across several writings from when I was barely 25 and in the span of just a few pages I can see the broken person I once was alongside the dreamer I will always be. Even when no one else knows your pain or how you feel remember that time passes, new choices can be made, and if you take risks on your behalf your dreams can become real.
It was in August of this same year that I left traditional Christianity (that’s another story) and began the journey to wholeness where being broken, unworthy, and undeserving were no longer the standard of existence. I struggled for years in that marriage trying to do something impossible – please my husband. Just a matter of weeks after leaving my religion we were expecting our first child. I stayed in the marriage for nearly three more years but in that time, I never did become a good wife, despite trying. And you know what? I’m glad. Had I been successful in being what he wanted me to be at the detriment of my mental and emotional health, I would have never had the courage to be who I needed to be or who my daughter needed me to be.
Just a couple pages away in this little notebook from fifteen years ago, I also found this short writing dated one month after my 25th birthday.
The Artist to be Born
I believe that there is an artist inside of each and every one of us – a writer, painter, sculptor, actor, dancer musician. She is pregnant with anticipation at the birth of a new child. She is overdue and burdened by the extra load she bears, desiring to bring forth the artist who must be born. Her other children await with hope, happiness, fear, and anticipation of the newest arrival into the family. Will she be a great one? Will he change the way the world perceives us?
I often wonder, about myself and what expression of art I am to conceive. What is longing to be born from me? Longing for me to grow so something new can be discovered. She, like a mother, wants to be proud of me. She expects great things. I know that it is my challenge and I cannot let her down. She has born great ones. She has born those who’ve revolutionized the world. She’s even bore the ones who you nor I will ever know for their achievements weren’t marked in the great pages of history. She bore the starving artist, that we may never forget the dream or the effort. She bore the stand-in and the extras that we would retain humility. She bore the backup singer that we would never forget the contribution of another in our lives.
What will my experience be? How will I affect the world? What is my expression? Am I willing and ready to see it born? Will I allow myself to be challenged, that I might rise to it and perhaps be that great one? Will I allow myself to be one who changes the perception of the world?
I share this now, as a forty-year old mother of two, happily remarried, and finally embracing the artist within as a writer of fiction and non-fiction. The young woman who wrote both of these things is now free. There was an artist wanting to be born from me, wanting to contribute to the world, and little did I know fifteen years ago when I wrote this that I would find it the same year that I finally gave birth.
Are you still waiting to give birth to your inner artist? What will your experience be? How will you affect the world? What is your expression? Are you willing and ready to see it born? Will you allow yourself to be challenged, that you might rise to it and perhaps be that great one? Will you allow yourself to be one who changes the perception of the world?
Interested in my story of leaving traditional religion? Read The Fall and Rise of Faith: Leaving Religion and Finding God.
We spend too much time waiting. Waiting to live, waiting to love, waiting to be happy, waiting to be fulfilled, and waiting to die. Why? Why do we waste the precious time we have on this planet, waiting for things that, if we decided to, we could have now?
We can have life now. We can have love now. We can be happy now. We can be fulfilled now. But you have to want it and you have to act like you want it.
Most of the essays, writings, and talks in this book are meant to inspire you and remind you of your truth. This essay takes it a step further and is meant to drive you to action. You want a better life? Act like it. You want love? Act like it. You want happiness? Act like it. You want to be fulfilled? Act like it.
And that acting goes two ways. Yes, act like you want to experience these things but more importantly ACT LIKE what it is you want. Like attracts like. So before you tell me or anyone else you want to have a vibrant life ask yourself whether you are doing what you can to act vibrantly. The same goes for love. Do you want it? Act lovingly towards others. Do you want to be happy? Act with happiness in dealing with others and in doing your day to day activities. Do you want to be fulfilled? Help someone else find fulfillment and appreciate the things you already have. You don’t have to be satisfied with what you have, but you do need to appreciate the benefit it gives, because what we celebrate and give thanks for – we get more of.
Do you want to experience heaven now? Act like it is here.
(An excerpt from Heaven is Now essay in the Heaven is Now book.)
I am considering starting a discussion group initially based on the writings of this book. If this is something you’d be interested in please let me know if you prefer a monthlyThursday evening or Sunday afternoon group.
Heaven is Now Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HeavenisNow/